Being Home

So I started this blog way back in the day cause I was bored. Now I'm more bored than ever, but I have nothing to talk about. Sad...

I decided I will share what I do each and every day. In the morning I wake up, generally on my own (which is nice!) and I run 2 miles. I sit around and contemplate life for a bit. I then do homework for a bit, then make dinner sometimes for mom and dad. I run another 2 miles at night, then sit around and do nothing until I go to bed at night. Not exciting at all. There are some days when mom and dad are the only ones I see. Sad huh?

As for updates, Brandon and I still talk occasionally. I'm terribly confused when it comes to him. When I left we said we'd "stay in contact" but who knows what that means? In the last couple weeks we would talk on the phone a couple times, but mostly we would text a couple times a day. It kind of makes me sad that this week we have not talked, and have only texted a couple times. I'm not gonna lie, kind of makes me sad. It shouldn't surprise me, but I guess it does. He really did make things confusing for me. I wonder if I hadn't started dating him, would I be more content here in Fresno? (Cause I'm not...at all. All I want to do is go back to Utah. Not that it's bad here, cause it's not. I know this is what I was supposed to do, I'm just restless and have no friends).

Anyway, there's the update. Enjoy...

Not sure how I feel about this

So it amazes me how many people do not recognize who I am. I'm serious! People my age who I knew fairly well in high school, adults who have known me my whole life (but who granted haven't seen me in a few years), and friends of Andrew's who have seen me in the recent past. One lady, Sister VanNortwick for those of you who know her, didn't realize who I was for almost 15 minutes when I was at her house for a baby shower the other night. When she realized it she asked "When did you go Italian on me?!" (What?!...weird). Another person when I said hello to them responded, "oh my gosh! How are you? I haven't seen you in forever? How's your sister Erika doing?" Me: (feeling quite awkward) -- I don't have any sisters. I know you through Andrew Nef -- he's my twin brother, remember me? Person (who I'm friends with on facebook) responds: oh that's right...well I gotta go (and proceeds to leave the room...I think I may delete her from my friends)
There are other incidents but I won't relay them all on here. I just don't know what to think. At times I think it's kind of cool, at other times it really annoys me. Generally though I just go with it. I mean it has been a long time since I've spent some time here, but seriously?! I just feel awkward. Also I've taken to not even saying hi to people now since I figure they don't remember who I am. I personally don't even think I look that different. But whatev...

I feel awful

It's way early in the morning. I got back from Utah about 4.5 hours ago and I have only slept for 2 of them. The drive alone back to Fresno wasn't too bad. I stopped only in St. George and Las Vegas and made it pretty quickly. Anyway I can't sleep and I'm exhausted! I have a terrible stomach ache and lower back pain. And occasionally my chest hurts. Since I can't sleep I decided to look up symptoms. As I did this I was reminded of an old roommate - one who was a hypochondriac. She was a funny girl and whenever anyone was feeling sick she would look up their symptoms and tell us all the possibilities that could be wrong with us. Kind of a depressing roommate at times actually.

Anyway although I feel terrible, it probably isn't anything in actuality. Ugh, I just wish I could sleep.